If I had known HALF of what I’d be getting into at the beginning of the semester, I don’t think I would have signed up for 5 college classes. I don’t even know if I would have tried to take any courses at all. However, almost 3 months into the fall semester I find myself engaged in the following:
*Taking 5 classes (Biology, Biology Lab, Creative Writing, Psychology, Yoga, and Pilates)
*Planning a wedding
*Working 24 hours a week between my two jobs
*Preparing for baby’s arrival in April
I had a friend ask me last weekend, “How do you do it all? You seem so calm about everything.” Well, I might seem serene but I certainly don’t feel like it. I’m nothing more than a disaster waiting to happen.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t focus on anything longer than 15 seconds to save my life, and my motivation to succeed in classes or in anything is virtually nowhere to be found. I don’t want to have to give effort for a reward; I just want to be finished. This mindset and these premonitions aren’t anything like me… I look in the mirror and I don’t know who I am.
All I know is that I am slipping faster downhill, and I don’t think anyone realizes it just yet.
Something has GOT to give if I’m gonna make it much further in this game.
