Today I was talking with my dad about a dance my friends and I are going to next Saturday….the conversation started out harmless enough, but ended pretty crazy… (note * Some names have been changed to protect characters)
Me: So Joy and Austin and I are gonna do something before the dance…we’re not sure what, though.
Dad: You’re NOT going to the mall.
Me: Uh, did I say that? And Dad, I’ve been to the mall before by myself and friends…I know how to call 911 and stuff.
Dad: Well, it’s not YOU I’m concerned about. It’s other people that might be interested in you.
Me: Dad? When I went to the mall, it was like I was invisible. NO one noticed me, I promise you.
Dad: I wouldn’t be so sure about that.
Me: Whatever
Dad: I was thinking, though. If you do go somewhere with your friends, maybe *Everett should go with you.
Me: Everett? You’re talking about my best friend’s brother here, right? EVERETT?
Dad: Yeah, Everett. He’d make a great body gaurd.
Me: But Dad….I don’t NEED a body gaurd. Joy and Austin will be with me…Austin knows some tai kwon do moves and Joy always has a cell phone with her. And I can scream really loud, so if you put us all together, we’re practically invincible!!
Dad: Still, I’d feel more comfortable if you had some sort of protection.
Me: BUT Dad, you don’t get it. Everett would totally not fit in with us. He’d die of boredom. Besides, Joy and Austin and I might not even go ANYWHERE. We might end up at eachother’s houses. I wouldn’t need a body gaurd then, would I?
Dad: Oh, no, not there.
Me: Okay. But we still haven’t decided on what we’re doing, so we might go hang out at someone’s house, but we may not.
Dad: *grumbling* Well, you need to be safe in whatever you decide to do.
Me: Oh, well, I mean, Joy, Austin and I were only thinking about hitting some clubs and then maybe wandering around downtown a few hours by ourselves….*sarcastic*
Dad: WHAT???
Me: It was a joke Dad, a joke. I don’t need Everett as my body gaurd.
Dad: Well, I could always hire Tony.
Me: Haha, right…..he’s only the most annoying guy on the PLANET, Dad.
Dad: So you’d consider Everett?
Me: Hey, Dad, look, we’re at my stop! WellthanksfordrivingIhavetogoseeyoutonightanddon’tforget
topickupthemail!!!!” *flies out of car*
funny thing was, he was totally serious, too. So, know of any other people we’d want to hire as body guards besides your brother? Like maybe, oh, hey Joey would be perfect! I mean, he’s only a foot shorter than the rest of us but he’s so annoying no one would even come near us I bet.
Hmm… wow. Interesting conversation. Uh… yeah… wow.