A Really, Really, Long BUT Significant Post
Alright. So, I do realize I have been doing a very crummy job of keeping up on this blog and saying anything relevant or interesting. Well, I have finally found something somewhat significant to write about, so for at least for today, we can all just pretend this is the most amazing blog out there. (yeah, right) Anyways…
I finished reading two books recently. Wild at Heart, and Captivating. Both are absolutely amazing books on the subject of men and women, and God’s plans/ purpose for each, and the battles that go on to live to their full God-given potential. (in a nutshell)
Captivating, the book written for women, had some really amazing passages in it, some that have really changed the way I think about my role, value, placing, design, everything in me that makes me what I am: a woman.
At one point in the book, the author, Staci Eldredge, spoke about a point in her spiritual journey where she began asking God to really show her HOW much he loved her, to show up and be more than just the “Jesus loves me” type-God that she had heard of growing up. She wanted to be romanced, chased pursued, affirmed and completely delighted in by her Maker.
After reading about her experience and the outcome, I decided, “Hey, that’s a really cool concept. I think should try it.”
My logic behind my decision was pretty simple. Throughout my whole life, I have always known that Jesus loves me. He loves me a lot, more than anyone else could. But, I never asked him to demonstrate exactly how endless his heart was for me, or to be shown how deep his passion for me is. I had never requested to be personally romanced by the God who painted the gorgeous sunsets across the inlet or knew every detail of my heart even better than myself. But, last Thursday, I did for the very first time. And God, being God, showed up BIG TIME and completely blew me away.
The first “demonstration” happened on Friday. It had been kind of a long, aggravating day for me. I had majorly bombed two final exams that week, and was dreading my weekend crammed full of extra homework. Feeling pretty miserable about my lack of accomplishments and talent for epic failures, I hopped on Facebook for a few minutes, hoping that I could forget/ avoid the nagging thoughts about how much I was screwing up.
Shortly after logging on, I noticed that Ky, an acquaintance I had friend requested, had accepted. Ten minutes later, I noticed multiple comments on my photography album from Ky. She was really impressed by my work for whatever reason, and enthusiastically remarked on several photos. This really encouraged me, since 1) words are my love language, and 2) I hadn’t had anyone tell me anything (negative or positive) about my photography recently, so that made it equally cool. Smiling now, I was just about to log off of FB to get some Journalism done when KY instant messaged me just to tell me again, ”OMG your pics are amazing!!!” She went on for several minutes, and eventually she had to sign off, but I was thrilled. It wasn’t a random chance thing, it was a God thing.
My second God experience came this past Sunday. I had been at work for 8 hours, at my boss’ house caring for her special needs daughter. It was snowing heavily, and I knew by the time I got off work my car was going to be buried in several inches of white fluffy stuff, which meant it would take a while to clean/ scrape off. This thought didn’t make me too happy, since I had to be at a class across town 30 minutes after my shift ended, and I wasn’t really digging the whole idea of spending extra time doing boring things like scraping off my windshield.
Since Sunday was the Super-Bowl, my boss had some friends over to watch the game while I cared for her daughter. I briefly met some of the guests when I wandered into the kitchen to prepare lunch for my boss’ daughter, but spent most of my day in the back bedroom watching Pooh Bear and other old Disney films.
By 6:00, my shift had ended and I shrugged into my coat and slipped on my Keene’s, eager to run off and play. The snow was still falling, and I thought to myself as I walked down the hallway, “I sure hope there’s a scraper-thing-a-ma-jig in the car, because otherwise I am going to be STUCK.” I quietly zipped up my coat, bid my boss and her lingering guests goodbye, and opened the door into the freezing, dark cold night….grumpily anticipating all the shoveling/ sweeping ahead. I walked a few steps from the door and then halted to a dead stop. I could NOT believe what I saw in front of my face.
There, in the driveway, stood one of my boss’ guests from the party, and she was scraping/ wiping snow and frost off a car. MY CAR. To be exact. Her car had yet to be completely scraped off yet, but there she was, quietly uncovering my car from its grave of snow.
I kind of awkwardly walked up, and managed to say, “Oh…wow…. um… thank you!!” I would have said more, but I was pretty choked up and stunned that someone would even THINK to do this. Didn’t she have someplace else to be? Something more exciting to do?
I don’t even know why she decided to help. But she did. And through this mysterious woman, the God of the ENTIRE universe dramatically proved to me once again not only the extent of his love for me, and how he has memorized every last piece of my heart. If that doesn’t make a person feel loved, I don’t know what does.
So, it may not be alot. But it’s a step towards seeing the heart of my Father more clearly than I ever have before.
